Full of regret. Also, hot dogs.

Guys, I am SO SORRY.

This whole ‘job thing’ is totally getting in the way of my blog time.

It’s a strange thing. Brain-wise, the job is super simple. But standing on my feet all day, being super nice to everyone, trying to figure out how many of the cute young boys are gay – IT’S COMPLETELY EXHAUSTING.

Two nights ago, I only had the energy to half-remove my bra before falling asleep. And then wondered why all my dreams were about my arms being trapped.

Just now, I tried to use my Oyster Card to unlock the front door.

I am tired. But I have STUFF TO TELL YOU.

Stay tuned, my friends. A regular post will be with you in a couple of days.


Keen as mustard. And other relishes.

Three days in a full-time job. I am a wreck.

I write to you in my comfiest pink track pants, nursing an emergency wine and full of my last, hidden Easter egg. I plan to be asleep by nine. I am absolutely shattered.

But stoked.

Finally, this chick has a job!

And with it, our story has a new setting. A totally cool, totally trendy new restaurant. One with a charming, enthusiastic chef, a sweet, shy manager, and an army of beautiful waiters in designer sneakers.

And how do I fit in?

Firstly, I am OLD. Some of these kids were born in 1994. 1994! Guys, I remember 1994 like it was yesterday! I bought ‘The Sign’ by Ace of Base! I went and saw ‘The Lion King’ and cried about Mufasa! And some of my coworkers WEREN’T EVEN ALIVE! It’s terrifying stuff.

And, I don’t know if it’s because I’m old or what, but it turns out I am keen. SUPER keen. Embarrassingly, enthusiastically, but unstoppably keen.

It seems like this chick is always the one with her hand up to answer a question. Offering facts that no one asked for. Jumping up to lend a hand. And yes, leading the role play with an overly enthusiastic and pretty awesome Tyrannosaurus Rex impersonation, if I do say so myself.

Yep. I am a total dork.

But I’m happy.

For the foreseeable future, I’m going to be super busy. I’m going to make money for the wine fund. I’m going to flirt shamelessly with young, gorgeous boys.

And I’m going to eat a criminal amount of free hot dogs.

It’s all pretty delicious.