Forward, backward

So, things aren’t really going to plan in this chick lit life right now.

A fortnight ago, things were barreling ahead. The warmth from home was still in my bones. I was optimistic, excited, refreshed. And I finally, FINALLY had some work.

When I started this chick lit adventure, getting a job was the least of my concerns. I just imagined it would fall in to place. I’d wear fabulous outfits, write some press releases, make fun, interesting friends, and head out for post-work drinks every Friday night. The job would be the background to my new, exciting London life. Just like in the books.

But getting a job has been harder than I ever imagined. I’ve spent six months applying for jobs that I can do with my eyes shut, jobs that pay half of what I made at home, and NOT EVEN GETTING A REPLY. It’s been a massive dent to my ego. And without a job, it’s been hard to settle in. It’s been hard to meet new people. And it’s been REALLY hard to afford to buy wine.

But a fortnight ago, it all started to happen. I went back to work in a newsroom. I got to pull out my favourite frilly pink work heels. I was carrying a notepad and pen again. I got to wear a lanyard around my neck, and say smug things like, “Sorry, got to get to bed, I have WORK TOMORROW”. And for two, glorious weeks. I EARNED SOME MONEY. It was awesome. Suddenly, I was thinking about shopping for new clothes. I started planning my next mini-break. And I started to make some new friends.

BUT.

After two weeks as a freelancer, turns out the company I was working for doesn’t want to hire freelancers any more. It was a total, unexpected kick in the guts. And now, I find myself back to square one. Jobless. Job-hunting. Filling out endless applications forms. And watching my savings dwindle away.

Of course, just as unemployment has hit again, I’ve been struck by my latest London cold. I swear, sometimes I think I’m actually allergic to this city. So I’ve been lying in bed. Wallowing. Feeling totally, pathetically, sorry for myself.

“WHAT HAVE I DONE?” I wailed to myself yesterday. “Don’t I deserve to be happy?”

And then, I had an epiphany.

You know those chain emails you used to get? Those ones that talked about how important friends are, blah, blah, blah, and then warned that if you didn’t forward to seven, eleven, whatever number of people, you would be CURSED FOR LIFE?

Well, I never forwarded them. The over-confident, cocky 20-something that I was, I thought that I was immune to computer curses. I didn’t think that a bullshit email could really have any impact on my life.

HOW WRONG I WAS.

You know what, I never ‘like’ those cause pages on Facebook either. Heartless person that I am, I never click to show that I hate cancer, or love the armed services, or support gay marriage, or want someone to name their child ‘iPod’. What a fool I’ve been!

Well, the lesson has been learned. Maybe, just maybe, if I start being a better online citizen, some good luck will come my way. I’m gonna click everything, forward everything, like everything. And when stuff starts to go right, I’ll know who to thank.

‘Like’ this, just in case. You can never be too careful.

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7 thoughts on “Forward, backward

  1. I am so sorry to hear about this setback. I’m also terribly “guilty” of never forwarding those chain emails! Hopefully, life will get back on track soon. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!

  2. I was just talking to a friend about the movie Yes Man yesterday. Perhaps forwarding things is kind of the same thing, opening yourself for who knows what. Maybe something even better is coming up for you? When you said “went back” to the newsroom, I got an inkling impression you felt you weren’t moving forward (of course I could be wrong!!). At any rate, I really like reading your blog, you’re a good writer, and something is bound to come along. Hope you feel better soon!!

  3. Hope you get work soon. I had a longish period of unemployment last year when I got back from o/s and it’s so depressing. Now I’ve been working for 3 months and I’d love to get back to having nothing to do… with pay though of course 🙂

  4. I thought the same as you when I moved to London – job would be interesting and I would learn so much and my London life would be incredible. It took me a month to get a job in London and by then, because I had less than $500 in my bank account, I took a job in a cafe, not the cool marketing/advertising business I thought I’d be working in. Not a cheerful story, but I hope you do get a job soon. And not in a cafe/bar. Being unemployed is so down-heartening. Nevertheless, I still loved London and had a great time. Even on my skinny budget.

    • I was out with friends tonight and they all have similar stories about how hard it is to get started in this big city. It’s tough. But I still got to eat awesome, cheap dinner in the middle of Soho. Guess I’m still in love with this place!

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