Girl talk

Another week goes by, and Facebook informs me that ANOTHER friend is engaged. ANOTHER friend is pregnant.

Me? I’m still single. I’m still working on the job thing. I DID eat some pretty life-changing gelato last week… but still, it feels like I might be falling behind.

Fortunately, one of my new London friends has diagnosed my problem:

Apparently, I’m too girly.

Now, for those who don’t know me, here’s a brief rundown: I wear a dress every day. I wear pink shoes every day. My tights are covered in love hearts. I sleep under a floral doona. And the following items in my life are pink: my toothbrush, my hairbrush, my mobile phone, my iPad, my hair straightener, my drinking cup, my cutlery and my handbag.

Now I don’t want to brag, but having a signature colour is actually a GENIUS idea. People just buy you things all the time! In my life, I have been gifted countless pink things just because someone saw them and thought of me: bottles of pink nail polish, cute pink bags, pink measuring cups, a pink computer keyboard, a pink bin… my ex-boyfriend even gave me a pink car cleaning kit!

I know. I really should have dumped him.

ANYWAY, I’m a girly girl. And there shouldn’t be a problem with that, right? Doesn’t every man want a woman who will bake him a cake, while wearing a full circle skirt and pretty pink shoes? A woman who will keep the house full of pink flowers and her glass full of pink champagne? A woman who dresses, well, like a woman?

So the last time I went out with this new London friend, I dressed as I normally do. Vintage floral dress, patterned tights, pink lipstick, bag and sparkly pink shoes.

Thing is, Londoners aren’t so into dressing up.

For London girls out on a Friday night, it’s Casual City. They wear jeans. And flat shoes. And minimal makeup. They’re effortlessly cool.

In comparison, I look like some sort of Drag Queen Butterfly.

Or, according to my new friend, whispered in scandalous tones:

“You’re confusing the men. You look like you’re trying way too hard to prove you’re a girl. They all think you’re a LESBIAN.”

Ah. You win some, you lose some. Any ladies out there looking for a woman who can bake?

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11 thoughts on “Girl talk

  1. I think you should just continue to rock that pink style and revel in the freedom of being single for the time being. Sooner or later, those patterned tights and sparkly pink shoes are going to catch some guy’s eye…or at least, that’s what everyone keeps telling me. My problem? Books and TV have given me completely unrealistic expectations in men. But that doesn’t mean I’m not convinced I will find someone who lives up to those expectations…

  2. If you love what you are dressed in, you always look great. Why would you want to ditch your style to look like everyone else? Pink sparkle tights– go forth!

    • Thanks for the quiz! I loved doing this sort of thing in high school – but always cheated to get the answers that I wanted. I’m kinda ashamed to admit I cheated on this quiz too to ensure I got an A+ for girliness… and I made myself ten years younger, less I be judged by the Teen OMG crowd as too old.

      Tragic.

  3. I don’t like that hypothesis.

    Did Zeke consider that Sharpay might prefer Gabriella’s cookies? No.

    Did Fiyero think Glinda might go for Elphaba (before he did)? I think not.

    Did Emmet consider the possibility that Elle might bat for the other team? Possibly. The movie doesn’t really go into that.

    My point is that upon meeting an attractive (as you have informed us) single girl, most single men would think “I’ll have a go.” Or possibly “perhaps she’s a lesbian. But let’s find out.”

    This is all the proof I need that London men are … how you say … bonkers.

  4. Wow, my experience of Londoners out was totally different. I was the person in jeans and blazer because I couldn’t afford new clothes, and all the girls around me were in tiny shiny dresses, freezing their asses off. I was one of those smug, warm people. I wish I could have gone out in a vintage dress. To be clear though: I NEVER got chatted up by an English guy. Never, ever.

  5. Men thinking you’re a lesbian will not deter them. I promise. After I broke-up with my girlfriend, I had a lot of men want to be the one to “turn me straight” (which was strange to me since I make it pretty obvious I’m bisexual). Probably more men than after I broke up with a dude.

    Anyway, the one thing I’ve heard is a huge deterrent that may apply to your situation is looking “too high maintenance”. Now, take this with a pinch of salt because I’ve only been told this by men in America. But they fear the girl who is too “matchy matchy” because they worry they won’t ever be able to “just be a guy” around them.

    The men I hang out with are mostly gross, so I completely understand why you would not want to attract them.

    Keep doing your thing and attract that higher class rarely-gross man. I hear they exist. Somewhere.

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